What About All the Bad Things?

So we’ve covered all the good bits of our life and we’re focusing on them. But what about the bad things that happen? Should we be grateful for them as well? Well yes, if possible

Being grateful for bad things that happen to us isn’t saying that what happened should have happened. It’s not about lying down like a doormat; ready for the next punch life might throw at us. Being grateful about the bad things that happen is more about learning to live with the life you’ve had, and seeing the good that can spring from anything. 

If you look at people who are successful, often they have a tale of woe of how they struggled, were hurt, abused or injured. But somehow they rose above that and keep on going. Key to this and to their success was to not see their situation as something that broke them, but as something that made them. 

Being grateful for hardship. This doesn’t mean that the universe is going to give you more if it. It’s more of a letting go. You can have two people in life experience exactly the same turn of unfortunate events and manage it completely differently. The person who uses gratitude that they are still alive, still surviving, still fighting, and has learnt from the lessons life has thrown upon them either at their own hand or at the hand of others is the one who is going to be positively affected by having gratitude in their life.

CASE STUDY 

Sarah was in an abusive relationship. She lived in fear for five years, and during this time also suffered from large financial issues, and had a near death experience due to a medical condition. She cites the day she walked away from her relationship as a turning point, but she also looks back at the things that happened during that time and is thankful for those too. “I could see that I allowed a lot of that behavior to happen around me and I had to learn from it. I look at life now completely differently from all of that time. For a start, every day is a gift. It’s not something to take for granted”

Neitchse said “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger” While that is often true, it only works if you choose the path of love and forgiveness. Being able to forgive someone for any wrongs done to you isn’t so much about whether what they did was right or wrong, or even if they ever appreciate that you’ve forgiven them.

Forgiveness is about what happens to your own heart during the process. As you forgive for the horrible parts of your lifeforgiving a person, an object, a situation, the universe, yourself, you let go of the negative power that has over you and you can start to be thankful for the person you are now from that experience or event. 

It can be tempting to live in the life of what could have been. However this just leads to a stronger sense of loss and hurt and it’s very difficult to move on from. If instead you focus on how it’s shaped you, and given you a different perspective others may never get to see, then you start to take on a more positive slant. 

When bad things happen to us we all need recovery time. We need to look after ourselves and be gentle on our tender parts. But we can also look at the scars we carry and see them as little reminders of how we have survived. Battle worn some of us may be, but how awesome to have made it through to the other side.