Trusting Yourself

When we fall out of touch with our inner selves, an unsettling sense of distrust begins to brew beneath the surface. We feel wary of this inner awareness, and think we know better about what is best for us (that’s the ego talking). Eventually we begin to ignore the hunches and gut feelings that would otherwise be a great asset in our lives.

As you begin to spend more time with yourself and reconnect with your inner power, and as you begin to honestly assess your strengths and abilities, you begin to feel more in tune with your authentic self. Little by little you begin to trust her or him again, and rebuild the bonds that form a stable inner foundation. 

Over time, you realize that your inner self is not your enemy but your greatest ally. You begin to understand that any failures or blockages you experienced were a direct result of the disconnection from your inner self, and you commit to bridging the gap you created. 

Throughout this process you may face some challenges, scary moments when you aren’t sure if you can trust your inner self. Perhaps you’ll feel a nudge to move in a certain direction and then have doubts about whether it’s a genuine insight or wishful thinking. Or you might feel confused and scattered, still unsure what your inner self is trying to convey to you. 

The best way to overcome these initial challenges is to keep testing the strength of your connection. Start with something small, like asking your inner self to guide you in your decisionmaking during the upcoming day. Then as you are faced with choices during the day, pause for a moment and turn your attention inward as you consider your options. See if you feel any physical sensations about a particular choice. Does your gut tighten with anxiety when you consider making a move? Or do you feel an inner urging to choose a certain option? If you feel comfortable trusting these hunches, do so. You might be surprised by how accurate your initial hunches are.

If you do experience problems when you trust your intuition, simply keep working at it. It may seem frightening at the beginning, but in very short order you should be feeling much more confident about making decisions, and you should notice that your choices are becoming wiser and more beneficial every day. 

Besides strengthening your natural inner guidance moment to moment, you should also focus on learning to trust your higher self to know what is best for you in the grand scheme of things. Too often we allow others to direct our lives because it’s easier than forging our own path. We’re afraid to upset someone, or offend them, or hurt their feelings, so we let go of controlling our own lives and let them do it for us. 

As well-intentioned as those people may be, they do not know better than we do what is best for us. The choices they make for us can be unfulfilling, misleading or downright dangerous. 

Make it your mission to trust your inner voice. Again, the more time you spend getting reacquainted with yourself, the more quickly you will gain a greater understanding of who you are and what you really want in your life. 

If you find yourself struggling to rebuild trust with your inner self, consider doing a simple exercise to get the ball rolling: Write a letter of apology to your inner self

An apology for what, you ask? If you’ve ever put yourself down because you weren’t good at something, or belittled yourself, berated yourself, or gotten angry at yourself; if you’ve ever insulted yourself or thought little of yourself, or called yourself “stupid,” or refused to honor yourself in any way, you have set a cycle of destruction in motion within yourself. 

Writing a letter of apology to your inner self can help reverse the process and get things moving in a positive, nurturing direction again. The letter doesn’t have to be long or painfully detailed, just sincere. Tell your inner self that you never meant to be so harsh, demanding, close-minded or impatient. Admit that you weren’t seeing the whole picture and you now realize that your actions created an inner divide. Most importantly, stress your commitment to doing better now. 

The point of this exercise isn’t to humiliate you or emphasize your “wrongdoing”. It’s to help you see that your inner self doesn’t deserve anger or abuse. Your inner self has been trying to reach out to you all along; you just weren’t willing to listen yet. Don’t be hard on yourself for this, for it’s something we all do to a certain degree. Just acknowledge that you are ready to begin changing your habits – and then do it.